On the heels of talking about rejection, talking about critiques and reviews seems fitting. Because if you let it, a poor review or harsh critique will feel like rejection.
Don’t let it.
Really, the reviews or critiques aren’t personal. Sure, the person giving the review or critique might be harsh, but it’s not personal. (Well, shouldn’t be. I guess there’s always an exception.)
But really, for critiques, you want them to be harsh, right? To be honest, otherwise your writing will never grow. Your story won’t get all shiny to submit to agents and editors.
Even after you’ve got the book contract, you’re still going to get harsh crits. They’re called edits and book reviews. Editors are objective, they have one goal–>make this book shine.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that it’s not about me. It’s about the book. But it is.
I’ve been lucky enough to have received a couple of favorable reviews of Wasteland, which releases in September, but I know it’s just a matter of time….
Thankfully I have super friends who’ll hold me up during the down times.
How do you get through the tough reviews or crits? Even if you’re not a writer…when someone tells you something that stings a little, how do you handle it?
Angela Schroeder
Patricia Kiyono
Elaine Cantrell
Jeff Salter
Joselyn
Tonette Joyce
Having friends and family offer support helps. I’ve been very lucky in my reviews so far *crosses her fingers* but in other things, my mom always has my back and gets all offended FOR me. It helps 🙂
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I was fortunate in having mostly good-to-very good reviews on the first of two non-fiction books I co-authored. That was a huge boost for ego and sales.
Our second book didn’t fare as well with reviewers (or sales). And guess what — I didn’t like that book as well as I did our first one either. So the reviewers who gave it lukewarm reception were probably right on target!
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How do I handle something that stings? Calamine lotion? 🙂 In all seriousness, it depends on what caused the sting, if I can change it, and if I WANT to change it. A tough critique from a trusted partner is like an immunization. Sure it hurts for a little while, but it’s to keep you a “healthy” writer. If the sting comes from something like, oh, my mother-in-law criticizing my housekeeping skills, I do the same as those offbeat critiques from non-trusted partners. I grit my teeth, smile, nod and say, “I’ll take that under advisement.” But any good, tough critique which will make me a better writer…I say “Bring it on!”
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So far, I haven’t gotten any nasty reviews for my work,( rejections, yes, but no harsh ones of those, either). I used to take every slight or personal assault deeply,let it eat away at me, make me bitter.I have learned much over the years of a rollercoaster life.One thing, that would carry me past a bad review(I think) would be simply that often, it is simply a matter of differences in taste, or just as often,misunderstanding, miscommunications, or there is downright ugliness in some people,something that makes them hurt others.I have learned that these people were often wounded themselves, and were not the lucky ones to let it affect them in a way that showed them the need to show kindness to others. I have learned to try to see things from the other side,and accept the fact that maybe I could have done, handled or behaved better ,or accept that perhaps the others were wrong, and to be strong within myself.
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