Black Friday and Cyber Monday

Today is Cyber Monday.  It’s the equally frenzied but far less violent cousin of Black Friday for the coffee-cup-and-pajama-shopper set.  By now, most of us have at least heard of the crazy woman who pepper sprayed her fellow shoppers in order to get to those killer deals.  Sadly, I’m afraid “killer” is the operative word.

But you know what?  People who know me in real life tend to describe me as Pollyanna-ish.  To a certain degree, yeah.  But if I’m behind the wheel of a vehicle?  I am SOOOOO NOT.  I can’t stand traffic.  That alone is a good reason to avoid the day after Thanksgiving insanity.  But I don’t want to be a Moody Judy and dwell on the negativity and bad behavior of Black Friday.  Thing is, I don’t do Black Friday.

Well…um…wait.  That’s kind of a lie and I know a certain someone is watching.  (Santa, please don’t hold that against me!  Hear me out.  Pretty please?  With extra whipped cream and marshmallows in your cocoa?)  Okay.  Here goes.  (Deep breath in.)  I shopped on Black Friday, but I’m not the up-at-the-butt-crack-of-dawn, credit-card-slapping chick.  I’m more of the sleep-off-the-tryptophan-coma, mimosa-in-the-morning, show-up-at-the-mall-after-dinner gal.  Seriously.  I went to the mall with my daughter at 8:30 PM on Friday.  Parking was plentiful.  Store shelves were being straightened.  No danger of being trampled, shot, or pepper sprayed just to be the first to snag some buy-one-get-one-free deal.  With the exception of a few specialty items, most of the sales go on all day long.  So we only had an hour and a half to shop.  (A half hour for a few stores.)  So what?  I had 90 wonderful minutes of mother-daughter bonding time without fearing for our lives or rushing to get home in time for lunch or dinner.  (We bought some cool shades, those holiday theme pajamas from Old Navy, and super comfy slippers.)

While I wish I could claim some holy anti-commercialism puritanical trait was at the root of my lackadaisical approach to Black Friday, the truth is that I’m a slacker.  I come from a family of slackers.  We are last minute shoppers to the nth degree.  Black Friday frenzy + slacker last minute shopper = TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.

You know those people who put up their Christmas lights before Halloween?  That’s not us.  If our lights are up before Turkey Day, it’s because they never came down in the first place.  Those jokes about people who leave their lights up all year?  Totally my parents.  No joke.  Okay, so they only leave up SOME lights and consider it “landscape lighting.”  Yeah.  Right.  Whatever.  They’re red and white.  And the lighted green triangular tree design on the front of the garage?  It’s there year-round and the only difference is that it’s plugged in in December.  Point is, I was raised to be a Christmas slacker.  No one over the age of 18 in my family even thinks much about Christmas until you’re slapping mayo on your post-dinner turkey sandwich and the traditional Thanksgiving day loss by the Detroit Lions is in the books.  What good are Black Friday deals if you have no clue as to what anyone in your family wants or needs for Christmas?  As fabulous as a $79 flat screen TV might be, no one I’m inclined to spend that much money on needs another TV.  Either that or those iPads aren’t the exact model, size, or color my loved one wants.  (The electronics nuts in my family are very particular about their toys.)

Want to know another secret?  Most of my adult family members prefer gift cards.  A $20 Applebees gift card on Black Friday or Cyber Monday still costs $20 on any other day.  This totally cancels out the whole Friday freakiness, so why bother?

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m a little jealous of some Black Friday shoppers.  The ones who are organized.  The ones who have a battle plan which doesn’t involve blood, guts, or any weapons carried by those vikings in the Capital One commercials.  (Love those dudes, by the way.)  The ones who meet their fellow early birds for lunch and trade stories of their fantastic finds.  Especially the ones who are kind enough to include their sleepy, mimosa-drinking, “I’ll shop later when the crowds die down” friend to that lunch.  In short, the ones who still have FUN.

No matter how you choose to do Black Friday or Cyber Monday, I’m sure you have a clear opinion about it.  Just put down the pepper spray and no one gets hurt.  Besides, I saw those hot red shoes first!  😉

About Micki Gibson

Young Adult fiction writer
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9 Responses to Black Friday and Cyber Monday

  1. jeff7salter says:

    I liked those Capital One vikings in the first few commercials, but now I’m tired of them.
    I think I’m a bit of a ‘Christmas slacker’ too, Micki. I’m a minimalist when it comes to decorating and don’t go ga-ga over other people’s decorations. I’d rather a modest, tasteful display than the kind of thing you’d see at the Griswold’s house.
    One year, our Christmas tree was still up through March. Our daughter was bringing home her boyfriend. After I wrote him an e-mail explaining that we keep up an “Easter Tree” my wife got motivated to take down the tree. [Yes, I helped].
    I used to be a better shopper than I am now, but these days it just saps too much energy.

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  2. Micki Gibson says:

    The most recent Capital One viking commercial I saw had Santa tugging on the little viking boy’s beard. I think the commercial personality I’m over are the Geico cavemen. Maybe we’re not so much slackers as we like to “savor” the Christmas season. I know my limits and do my best to stay within them. That comes to time, money, and tolerance for demands on me.

    As far as leaving the tree up…well, I always feel a bit down when it’s time to put all the decorations away. I like the festive feeling to linger.

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  3. Outside decorations are wreaths on the door, when I don’t have kids clamoring for more..inside is another story,I am afraid.I do most holidays up some, but had to skip Thanksgiving as with painting and prep for company, nothing was put up…and we survived quite nicely.
    I used to enjoy getting out and actually Christmas shop, but I find myself stumbling across things that would suit others all year,(and if they are a bargain, all the better) and stuffing them away.Forget waiting in line to get into a store…nothing is worth it to me.I won’t fight over anything. I mean, that’s hardly the Spirit of the Season, is it?

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    • Micki Gibson says:

      I like the idea of stumbling across things throughout the year. Problem is I tend to forget about it and come across it in January. And I used to enjoy some of the craziness…until it got too crazy. Glad you stopped by, Tonette!

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  4. Laurie Ryan says:

    I’m with you. We didn’t go out at all on Friday. We waited until today, actually. It’s just easier. Although I do look at the ads to see if there’s something I need to go out for. I did one year. Almost got hit twice…in the parking lot! That was enough for me.

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    • Micki Gibson says:

      Anytime I want the scary parking lot experience, I head to Wal-Mart. It’s Christmas crazy there all year. Glad you stopped by, Laurie and nice guest post with Jeff last week.

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  5. My activity for Black Friday is going to the movies. It’s been a family tradition for years, now. I did the shopping bit once or twice – with friends, mind you – and that was enough for me. No thank you. And just like you, I usually have no idea who wants what for Christmas until sometime in December.

    “Christmas Slacker” – I like that term. It really suits me, too (and I think I raised two more).

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  6. Micki Gibson says:

    I do love a movie during the Thanksgiving weekend. We waited until Saturday, but I’m sure a few theaters have seen us on a Black Friday. (Finally saw “Puss in Boots.” It was cute enough.) Thanks for stopping by, Stacy and I’m glad to know I’m not the only slacker out there. 🙂

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  7. Glad you and J. got some mom/daughter time in. That’s always fun.

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