This week’s topic is about a time our lives were in danger. (Not collectively, of course, but I’d bet THAT would make for an interesting blog week.) My inner four year old says, “The orange snake. Definitely the orange snake.” There’s a ten year old ready to argue with her about the time her older sister convinced her to go on that circular upside down ride at the fair. She was certain that all the restraints were going to give out at the top and that her body would fall to her death. My inner teenager is waving her hand madly a la Arnold Horshack (RIP Ron Palillo) saying, “Ooh-ooh-ooooh! How about the time I didn’t do TWO book reports and got my first ever D on a report card in tenth grade? I was terrified to go home that day.” Boozy college freshman Micki rolls her eyes at tenth grade Micki and says, “Bitch, please. I flunked at least half my classes and lost a bunch of scholarship money. Think I was looking forward to facing Dad and dealing with THAT summer?! Duh. There’s a reason I went away to work at Disney World.”
Recently graduated Micki and newlywed Micki shake their heads tsk-tsk-tsking and blessing all those young girls’ hearts. They don’t know what a true threat to her life is. The former dealt with a stalker. Creepy stalker who left little presents like handcuffs and ropes and duct tape at her apartment door. Creepy stalker who required Caller ID when it was a new, expensive phone feature and necessitated multiple phone calls to the Miami police department kind of danger. Newlywed Micki has actually gone through the plane crash preparation drill because there was a real chance of that happening. She can still hear the flight attendants shouting repeatedly, “Brace! Brace! Heads down! Stay down!” She still gets tears remembering the fear of never seeing her parents or wonderful new husband again because the landing gear indicator light wouldn’t come on and no one knew if the plane would collapse upon the landing or if there would be a fiery crash. Those other girls haven’t got a clue as to Micki’s life being in danger. Well….maybe except the four year old. Present day Micki is still deathly afraid of snakes.