No, I haven’t thrown any characters into a vat of boiling water or acid trying to turn them into superheroes. I mean how much my characters cook in my novels. Which is to say very little. My characters are mostly teens and have other stuff (story stuff) going on that I don’t have time to put them in the kitchen. This is also a reflection of me during my teen years and now that I have two teens in my house, it’s also a reflection of how much (little) cooking I do. Can you say take out? How about Stouffer’s or Lean Cuisine? Got Papa John’s on speed dial? You get the idea. Oh, and on the off chance we’re home, I’ve usually conned my hubby into grilling chicken or steaks. The grill is his domain and I simply throw a bag of frozen veggies into the microwave.
And that dear readers is the extent of my characters cooking. My characters don’t know life without a microwave, which brings me to my protagonist in my current WIP. Lisette can’t cook, or rather doesn’t. I decided she’s a bit accident prone (or that she views herself that way) even though she’s a dancer at an arts magnet high school. Believe me, I’ve taken enough dance classes to see that unless we’re on the dance floor, we can be some of the clutziest fools out in the world. Slap a pair of tap, jazz, or ballet shoes and give us a slippery surface and we’ll still nail our routines, but normal surfaces and street shoes still manage to cause a few face plants. That’s Lisette to a T. But, it’s one of those cute quirks about her. Her father gave her the nickname Puddin’ Pop because she wanted some melted chocolate and decided to nuke a Hunt’s Snack Pack chocolate pudding. To be honest, I have not tested this theory out because I’m married to an OCD neat freak who flips out over the butter that seems to escape from the microwave popcorn bags. Lisette also likes the way the British foreign exchange student says, “Puddin’ Pop.”
Puddin’ Pop?! Oh my god! Did I say that out loud?!
Poor Lisette. She has no idea of how much I’m going to torture her. Though none of it involves me tossing her into a vat of boiling water or bubbling acid.
And now, for one of my quickie dinners from when it was just the hubby and I and no kids to sneer at the vegetables in this dish. Take one bag of Pasta Accents (or any pasta/veggie with sauce combo found in your grocery store’s freezer section) plus a package of Louis Kemp Crab Delights (the fake crab-flavored fish concoction also known as surimi to make it sound more exotic). Toss Pasta Accents into a microwave-safe dish. (Blogger assumes no responsibility for any kitchen appliance damage if you ignore this.) Follow directions on package for cooking. Halfway through cooking, add the Crab Delights. Stir. Finish cooking. And voila! You have a protein, veggies, and pasta. Have a glass of milk and you’re set! (Can you tell I grew up back in the “Four Basic Food Groups” days?)
If all else fails, have a bowl of cereal for dinner. Stick a fork in me. I’m done!