Lines,Bond Lines

What a week! I try to be ready early, but I am zipping this out late Thursday night; bear with me.
We are having so much fun this month, Bond month, and this a week is our favorite James Bond movie quotes.
Everyone has stepped up to the plate, using some of my favorites and reminding me of a few more wonderful lines.

I could go one forever on all of the good lines,(and a few that make me shake my head), but I will spare you,(besides, I need to sleep sometime and it will be an early morning, too!)

Quite possibly the best line ever was brought up by Iris at the start of the week,:[Bond] “Do you expect me to talk?”
[Goldfinger] “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”

We all wait until every Bond says,”Bond, James Bond” and thank Heaven, the “shaken, not stirred” martinis are back!

I do love a few more favorites. A few are from one of my favorite villains, and I hate to spoil the up-coming post on that topic, but “Dr.Kaufman” in Tomorrow Never Dies, (played by Vincent Schiavelli), has one that comes in useful to me.
He has already killed Bond’s old flame and is about to kill Bond. There is a pre-recorded ‘news’ program playing saying that Bond has killed her and committed suicide. Bond tells the doctor that if he shoots him from across the room, it will not look like a suicide. Dr. Kaufman says: “Believe me Mr. Bond, I could shoot you from Stuttgart and still create the proper effect”. I threaten to shoot people from Stuttgart a lot.
As he is about to kill Bond, the doctor’s cohorts tell him that they need to be told how to get into Bond’s car. He tells Bond : “This is embarrassing; I don’t know what to say. I am to torture you if you won’t tell me”. “Do you have a doctorate in that, too? “ Bond asks him.
“No, no, this is only like a hobby….but I am very gifted”. When someone says that anyone is gifted in a craft, I try very hard not to laugh.

The one that may be my all-time favorite is from Goldeneye. James Bond is at a stalemate with a former Double-0, now a super badguy played by Sean Bean.(YUM!) Bond has a big gun trained on the former agent, who is holding gun to a woman’s head. The man’s partner in crime , a Russian general, enters. Bond grasps for the possibility turn one man against the other .“Is this true?” asks the general.
And the former 006 says: “What’s true is that in a 48 hours you and I will have more money than God, and Mr. Bond here will have a small memorial service with only Moneypenny and a few tearful restaurateurs in attendance.” You’d be surprised how often I spout that one.

There are a few other good lines in that movie, as well. One is when Bond correctly guesses ‘”Onatopp’s” [ played by Framke Janssen] accent as Georgian. “Very good, Mr. Bond; you’ve been to Russia.” “Not recently; I used to drop in occasionally… shoot in and out”, which is quite literally what we saw him do at the beginning of the movie: drop in and shoot and go out shooting.

Now for a couple of total groaners, which are the worst. In “The World Is Not Enough” Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist. (If anyone has ever doubted that Bonds are done tongue-in-cheek, there is the ultimate proof.) Her name is “Christmas Jones” and she tells Bond that she has heard every joke, and I guess now we have, too. At the end, we see them celebrating in evening clothes with champagne in Istanbul. Bond says to her. “I always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey”.
And if that isn’t bad enough, I will remind you of the last line by paraphrasing. We see the two of them no longer in their evening clothes,(ahem). Bond tells her,( in different words), that he had been mistaken in believing that the holiday arrived only annually.

It is embarrassingly bad, but a truly noteworthy line.

And I just realized that all but Goldfinger are Pierce Brosnan Bonds….hmmmm…

I could go on, but I am going to bed. If I don’t get back to you right away, I will be taking my husband for routine but lengthy hospital testing in the morning.

Any other ideas for bad lines from Bond films?


About Tonette Joyce

Tonette was a once-fledgling lyricists-bookkeeper, turned cook/baker/restaurateur and is now exploring different writing venues,(with a stage play recently completed). She has had poetry and nonfiction articles published in the last few years. Tonette has been married to her only serious boyfriend for more than thirty years and she is, as one person described her, family-oriented almost to a fault. Never mind how others have described her, she is,(shall we say), a sometime traditionalist of eclectic tastes.She has another blog : "Tonette Joyce:Food,Friends,Family" here at WordPress.She and guests share tips and recipes for easy entertaining and helps people to be ready for almost anything.
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19 Responses to Lines,Bond Lines

  1. Iris B says:

    Isn’t Vincent Schiavelli just the creepiest actor ever 🙂 He was brilliant in Ghost as well.

    Another line from TND – M says I wonder with what’ll the CIA be more upset – that they lost it, or that we found it? when Bond’s transmission shows a known terrorist holding a missing American GPS encoding device.

    Great finish of the week of Bond-lines, Tonette!


  2. jeff7salter says:

    You had several great lines in this post, Tonette. I don’t believe I’ve seen some of the movies you cited except a small portion of the one with Denise Richards. She was NOT a believable scientist (to me) in that tight jumpsuit… but maybe I’m inadvertantly dissing scientists.


  3. Micki Gibson says:

    My husband used to have a thing for Denise Richards before she went all train wreck (kind of like my thing for Tom Cruise). Anyhow, since he’s far more of a Bond enthusiast than I am, I asked him for some memorable Bond lines. And it was your “naughty” line. Since I’d forgotten her name was Christmas Jones (really?!?!), I didn’t get it when he told me. Heck, I’d forgotten she’d even been a Bond girl.


    • Naughty husband! I remember also in the interview I talked about in answering Jeff that she was afraid of the name they might give her, but didn’t think That Christmas was all that bad…it was baaaad with that last line!


  4. pjharjo says:

    “I’ll be back, I’ll be back with the dogs.”
    This poetically phrased line is from Dr. No.


    • Iris B says:

      Sounds like the Schwarzenegger line …. LOL …. can’t remember that one either 🙂


      • That was a good one.Janette, within the movie.As Jeff said, so many need set-up on to be in context .Which is why, had I thought it out,I would have posted the line to start with, WITHOUT the set-up , and let it go from there.


      • Now you did it,Iris! I will be walking around with Schwarzenegger’s voice in my head all day:”I’ll be back…mit die Hunde”! Why my head is switching him to German halfway through,I have no idea,(except that is some of the German I retained!) Now, you’ll probably tell me I am grammatically incorrect!


      • Iris B says:

        *cracks up laughing* …. sorry Tonette! Another one of the great lines …. or should I say memorable …. LOL …. AND Sorryyyyyyy it’s mit den Hunden …. 😉


      • Oh,great! Iris! I have Schwarzenegger with bad grammar in my head!
        I am giving up! Apparently,I the couple of months I had of German gave me words but not enough context; although considering I only had about 8 in-class sessions and it was 35 years ago…. I don’t know whether to give up trying or keep giving you laughs!


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