Lines,Bond Lines

What a week! I try to be ready early, but I am zipping this out late Thursday night; bear with me.
We are having so much fun this month, Bond month, and this a week is our favorite James Bond movie quotes.
Everyone has stepped up to the plate, using some of my favorites and reminding me of a few more wonderful lines.

I could go one forever on all of the good lines,(and a few that make me shake my head), but I will spare you,(besides, I need to sleep sometime and it will be an early morning, too!)

Quite possibly the best line ever was brought up by Iris at the start of the week,:[Bond] “Do you expect me to talk?”
[Goldfinger] “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”

We all wait until every Bond says,”Bond, James Bond” and thank Heaven, the “shaken, not stirred” martinis are back!

I do love a few more favorites. A few are from one of my favorite villains, and I hate to spoil the up-coming post on that topic, but “Dr.Kaufman” in Tomorrow Never Dies, (played by Vincent Schiavelli), has one that comes in useful to me.
He has already killed Bond’s old flame and is about to kill Bond. There is a pre-recorded ‘news’ program playing saying that Bond has killed her and committed suicide. Bond tells the doctor that if he shoots him from across the room, it will not look like a suicide. Dr. Kaufman says: “Believe me Mr. Bond, I could shoot you from Stuttgart and still create the proper effect”. I threaten to shoot people from Stuttgart a lot.
As he is about to kill Bond, the doctor’s cohorts tell him that they need to be told how to get into Bond’s car. He tells Bond : “This is embarrassing; I don’t know what to say. I am to torture you if you won’t tell me”. “Do you have a doctorate in that, too? “ Bond asks him.
“No, no, this is only like a hobby….but I am very gifted”. When someone says that anyone is gifted in a craft, I try very hard not to laugh.

The one that may be my all-time favorite is from Goldeneye. James Bond is at a stalemate with a former Double-0, now a super badguy played by Sean Bean.(YUM!) Bond has a big gun trained on the former agent, who is holding gun to a woman’s head. The man’s partner in crime , a Russian general, enters. Bond grasps for the possibility turn one man against the other .“Is this true?” asks the general.
And the former 006 says: “What’s true is that in a 48 hours you and I will have more money than God, and Mr. Bond here will have a small memorial service with only Moneypenny and a few tearful restaurateurs in attendance.” You’d be surprised how often I spout that one.

There are a few other good lines in that movie, as well. One is when Bond correctly guesses ‘”Onatopp’s” [ played by Framke Janssen] accent as Georgian. “Very good, Mr. Bond; you’ve been to Russia.” “Not recently; I used to drop in occasionally… shoot in and out”, which is quite literally what we saw him do at the beginning of the movie: drop in and shoot and go out shooting.

Now for a couple of total groaners, which are the worst. In “The World Is Not Enough” Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist. (If anyone has ever doubted that Bonds are done tongue-in-cheek, there is the ultimate proof.) Her name is “Christmas Jones” and she tells Bond that she has heard every joke, and I guess now we have, too. At the end, we see them celebrating in evening clothes with champagne in Istanbul. Bond says to her. “I always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey”.
And if that isn’t bad enough, I will remind you of the last line by paraphrasing. We see the two of them no longer in their evening clothes,(ahem). Bond tells her,( in different words), that he had been mistaken in believing that the holiday arrived only annually.

It is embarrassingly bad, but a truly noteworthy line.

And I just realized that all but Goldfinger are Pierce Brosnan Bonds….hmmmm…

I could go on, but I am going to bed. If I don’t get back to you right away, I will be taking my husband for routine but lengthy hospital testing in the morning.

Any other ideas for bad lines from Bond films?