Need a Cure for a Man-Cold?

Need a Cure for a Man-Cold?
Here’s a screwball sample…

By Jeff Salter

Since it’s our Free Week at 4F1H, I decided to feature a short excerpt from my newest novel — a screwball comedy, “Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold”.

A stubborn boyfriend with the sniffles is the last thing Amanda needs in her apartment during THIS work crisis, but how can she get clueless Jason to leave without just ending their relationship?

— — —

Excerpt # 1

From Chapter 1

Amanda, in her apartment; her best friend Christine visiting; Amanda’s boyfriend Jason on his way over.

— —

“I don’t think I can hold up…” Amanda’s eyes were full. “Jason just left the doctor.” Her apartment suddenly felt smaller.

“What on earth is wrong?” Her friend Christine had just arrived and already plopped down on the small sofa. “Cancer? Paralysis?” She probably pictured even worse diagnoses because Christine zealously read supermarket tabloids.

Amanda groaned softly.

Christine grabbed her younger friend’s shoulders. “You’ll feel better if you talk about it.” She moistened her lips slightly. Medical news was known to be among her favorites, along with stories about nasty divorces.

Amanda looked for her nearest tissue box. “It’s… a… man-cold.”

Christine sighed heavily. “Don’t wind me up like that. I thought this was a real situation.”

“It is!” Amanda had been home from work about twenty minutes and still had her heels on. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Just ship that basket case back to his momma.” Christine snapped her fingers. “Let Margaret wait on him hand and foot for the next week.”

“More likely two weeks. Remember when he was sick in January?”

“I thought he had triple-Nashville-man-ditis or something.”

Amanda nodded. “Totally helpless. He could barely use the bathroom by himself.”

“Look, Jason was overindulged from the get-go. I bet Margaret nursed him too long. Ship him back.”

“I can’t.” Amanda closed her eyes. “She absolutely won’t take him.”

“His own momma?”

“The last time a sick Jason stayed at her place, it nearly put Margaret in the hospital.” Amanda lowered her voice. “She said Jason moaned every waking hour. Hardly ever moved from her couch for over a week… and he limped, for cryin’ out loud!” Amanda shook her head. “I can’t live with that.”

“You can’t let him stay here! You won’t survive two days with Jason’s sick-over.” Christine sputtered. “There’s got to be somewhere else… somebody else. Maybe he can bunk with a buddy.”

“A buddy? Just picture irresponsible Kevin trying to assist helpless Jason who’s down with a deadly illness. Kevin would hightail it out of his own apartment so quick you’d think he just spotted a fumigation fog sliding under his door.”

“Slow down and rethink this.” Christine touched her friend’s forearm. “Do you really know this person well enough to nurse him back from near-terminal man-sniffles?”

“Know him? We’ve been sleeping together since the Halloween party last year. My place and his!”

Christine leaned in closer, even though she should have remembered this development. “At his place too?”

“Three times.” Amanda was prepared to list the dates.

“Hmm. That is serious, I guess.” Christine waved her hand briefly. “Okay. So you do have an investment, so to speak. The issue is how to tend Jason enough that it even registers with him, yet not so much that the effort kills you.”

“Now you understand why I’m freaking.” Amanda moaned again. “Not to mention these are my Hell Weeks at work.”

Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold

Back-Cover BLURB

A stubborn boyfriend with the sniffles is the last thing Amanda needs in her apartment during THIS work crisis, but how can she get clueless Jason to leave without just ending their relationship?

Fortunately, her divorced girlfriend hurriedly develops the devious scare-cure. Amanda throws everything at Jason that Christine can dream up and that apartment becomes the least hospitable place a man could possibly imagine. Extensive potpourri and a glued-down toilet seat is just the beginning.

But how serious are the privacy risks as Christine blogs about her scare-cure? Can this crazy scheme really get Jason out of Amanda’s hair at home before she loses her mind at work?

Will Amanda’s relationship even survive the kooky cure of Jason’s man-cold?

            Only $1.95 in digital format; paperback also available (price varies)

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About Jeff Salter

Currently writing romantic comedy, screwball comedy, and romantic suspense. Fourteen completed novels and four completed novellas. Working with three royalty publishers: Clean Reads, Dingbat Publishing, & TouchPoint Press/Romance. "Cowboy Out of Time" -- Apr. 2019 /// "Double Down Trouble" -- June 2018 /// "Not Easy Being Android" -- Feb. 2018 /// "Size Matters" -- Oct. 2016 /// "The Duchess of Earl" -- Jul. 2016 /// "Stuck on Cloud Eight" -- Nov. 2015 /// "Pleased to Meet Me" (novella) -- Oct. 2015 /// "One Simple Favor" (novella) -- May 2015 /// "The Ghostess & MISTER Muir" -- Oct. 2014 /// "Scratching the Seven-Month Itch" -- Sept. 2014 /// "Hid Wounded Reb" -- Aug. 2014 /// "Don't Bet On It" (novella) -- April 2014 /// "Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold -- Dec. 2013 /// "Echo Taps" (novella) -- June 2013 /// "Called To Arms Again" -- (a tribute to the greatest generation) -- May 2013 /// "Rescued By That New Guy in Town" -- Oct. 2012 /// "The Overnighter's Secrets" -- May 2012 /// Co-authored two non-fiction books about librarianship (with a royalty publisher), a chapter in another book, and an article in a specialty encyclopedia. Plus several library-related articles and reviews. Also published some 120 poems, about 150 bylined newspaper articles, and some 100 bylined photos. Worked about 30 years in librarianship. Formerly newspaper editor and photo-journalist. Decorated veteran of U.S. Air Force (including a remote ‘tour’ of duty in the Arctic … at Thule AB in N.W. Greenland). Married; father of two; grandfather of six.
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7 Responses to Need a Cure for a Man-Cold?

  1. jbrayweber says:

    Hoooo boy! Amanda is in for a treat. 😉 Seriously funny, Jeff!


  2. This has the potential to be my new Jeff Salter favorite! I have it ready to read…and I WILL get there! Congrats, Jeff! With a husband and two grown sons,I can truly appreciate a Man-Cold dilemma.


  3. Iris B says:

    Almost finished …….. 🙂


  4. pjharjo says:

    FUNNY, Jeff! Thanks for the share!


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