SHOW Me the Way To Go Home….

This week’s topic is: If our lives were a TV show, what would it be?

Groan…you really don’t want to know about mine.

My family was so dysfunctional and the situations were often so off-the-wall, I said at an early age that if I told my life story, no one would believe it. I would not only have to classify it under “Fiction”, I would have to list it under “Science Fiction”.

But I persevere. And I keep a sense of humor.

My mother used to laugh until she cried every week at “The Odd Couple” because she said I was such a Felix and my sister,(though cleaner), was a female Oscar.( I got a chance to tell that story to Tony Randall at a chance meeting.) To turn the tables, I have laughed out loud at “Everybody Loves Raymond”. Watching his “mother”.I would call out to my husband, “OMG! That’s my mother”, until she’d get ugly, at which time I’d say, “Now she’s your mother”.

Things took a horrendous turn in our situation some time back. Within a couple of years, about everything bad that can happen in a person’s life happened to me or those immediately around me, and  I experienced every pain it brought. My late dearest, closest friend,the one who not only encouraged me to keep writing but introduced me to the people who first published me, would contact me every day with, “Give me the latest episode in my own, personal soap opera”. And, mind you, I did not even give her every detail. She tried to come up with a title, but liked the one that jumped to my mind, which I intend to use for a book or story,(or play), one day. If I don’t feel like I can write about what happened, I can at least use the title.

In other words, sometimes we could be a “Dr. Phil” show.

Fortunately, there hasn’t been enough going on here for more than a few episodes of “Law and Order”.

I’ve had to play detective more than once, but didn’t enjoy it, although it looked like I was headed to become a female “Adrian Monk” there for a while.

A Game Show? Not with my luck. People win on those sometimes.

A book show would a possible choice. We’re voracious readers around here. Re-open “Reading Rainbow” and also  do a version for adults? Yes, I certainly have enough books for that to be feasible.

A History Channel show? You’d think so, if you were living with my husband. He gives daily lectures. He’s also keen on discussing current events. He’d make a really good host doing his own coverage of the news, like a  “Jim Lehrer”.

(He could be a whole season of “Hoarders” by himself, too.)

With my health complications, I used to say I should have a “Dr. House” –type show. But I never get the clear results of his teams.

ESPN? Not me! When we first got married my husband took me to a park and tried to get me to throw a football around with him. I said, “I better have a couple of sons for you right away”. I did .They didn’t play much football together, though.

There have been times when I seriously could have used the Winchester Brothers. Really. Seriously.

All in all, we keep laughing. It’s funny here. I would not have married a man without a sense of humor since my family was always very funny. Fortunately, our sons grew up with senses of humor…and the grandkids were born making jokes and pulling pranks. They see humor almost everywhere, like the rest of us.

So if you run a soap opera into a sitcom, you basically have my life.

I’m open for suggestions on titles, rather than my original: “Training For Hell“.

[“WAIT A MINUTE!”, I hear a couple of you cry, “Not a COOKING show?”
No, I do not live in a cooking show. I enjoy it, but it doesn’t rule my life. My cooking/entertaining blog has gone sorely neglected. I have found my readers to be less interested in actual recipes than ‘how-to’s’ and advice on hosting. I know this is a surprise to some.]

How about you? Do you have need of a Dr.Phil, Adrian Monk or a Winchester or two?

(After this long-windiness, I guess a talk show could fit the bill, too!)


About Tonette Joyce

Tonette was a once-fledgling lyricists-bookkeeper, turned cook/baker/restaurateur and is now exploring different writing venues,(with a stage play recently completed). She has had poetry and nonfiction articles published in the last few years. Tonette has been married to her only serious boyfriend for more than thirty years and she is, as one person described her, family-oriented almost to a fault. Never mind how others have described her, she is,(shall we say), a sometime traditionalist of eclectic tastes.She has another blog : "Tonette Joyce:Food,Friends,Family" here at WordPress.She and guests share tips and recipes for easy entertaining and helps people to be ready for almost anything.
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9 Responses to SHOW Me the Way To Go Home….

  1. Iris B says:

    I love “Mildred” … Raymond’s mother! That was her name on Remmington Steele anyway 🙂 She’s great.
    Anyway, so sorry to hear that you feel your family is so dysfunctional. Never watched Monk, but people say I’d like it, because I’d be able to identify myself with him … not sure.
    I would’ve guessed a cooking show for you, or something like Kids program … along the line like Sesame street. Not sure why. You strike me as great with people, but in general with kids!
    Have a great weekend. Hope you’re feeling better!


    • Thanks, Iris; I am doing VERY well.The diagnosis was not even the lesser of the two evils! It is next to nothing…yea!
      “Marie” was actress Doris Robert’s name as Ray’s mother.
      I don’t know why everyone always expects me to be Mother Goose! Even when I was young and had my nieces around me everyone expected me to want to teach little kids catechism…no way! I have done what has needed to be done with my relatives, but it is not my calling to deal with other people’s little ones.I never in my life took a babysitting job! And when I needed the money,I did without instead of giving myself the headache, trust me!
      I am glad to see that you are up and feeling better, too.


  2. jeff7salter says:

    Thank goodness you’ve been able to keep your emotional balance and retain a sense of humor and positive outlook. Too many people succumb to a fraction of those type problems and stop making an effort to cope.


    • Yeah,I’ve heard that.I am also always told that I am brave about pain and medical procedures, too.Gee, Jeff, it would be nice to be able to wimp-out once in a while!
      Thanks for the bucking-up,Pal!


  3. I’ll take the Winchesters! Not cause I need any supernatural help…but hello? Dean Winchester!!! 😉 I’d even take Sam!


    • I’ll arm wrestle you for Dean, Kate! He’s YUMMY! (Even when he was a dog!!!) Gotta love Sam, too. My niece actually has a thing for Crowley, can you believe?
      Thanks for coming by…it’s always nice to hear from you.


  4. pjharjo says:

    A Talk Show! That would be perfect for you, Tonette! It sounds like your show could be called Truth is Stranger Than Fiction, but I think that’s already been used. LOL!


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