Caustic Concerns of a Crusty Curmudgeon

 

Stuff I’m Sick and Tired Of

By Jeff Salter

I was mildly surprised to learn that this topic had been one of my suggestions. If I had anything particular in mind when I nominated the topic (several months ago), I’d surely forgotten it by the time this week actually began. So I’ve spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday thinking up Things I’m Really Sick Of — whether they be Activities, Behaviors, Attitudes, or Expressions.

Not sure which topic this one fits into, but I’m really sick of POLITICS. It would be fine with me to toss out almost the entire bunch of politicians and start over with ordinary honest citizens who are willing to devote a few years of their lives to public service… and then return to whatever they’d been doing.

That said (as my introductory), here are a few other things I’m really sick of:

Activities

*** Vandalism — Just the other day somebody threw paint on the Vietnam Memorial. Disgusting.

*** Pirating — People who steal books written by me or other authors… and provide them to anyone who wants a copy. Theft.

*** Hackers — Computer savvy people who do their very best to ruin the Internet experience for the rest of us.

Behaviors

*** Drivers who follow too closely and refuse to use their turn signals.

*** Vehicle operators who are more focused on phoning and texting… than driving.

*** Folks who make up their own parking spaces… for THEIR convenience (thereby causing problems for the rest of us).

*** People presuming to make decisions for me: like certain contractors, dealers, or salesmen… who might say “oh, you don’t want that” or “Here’s the one you’ll like.” If I’m gonna pay for it, how about letting ME decide whether I do or don’t like that particular feature.

Attitudes

*** People who, because they do not like something, believe that item should not be available for use by anyone else. Let’s say a handful of influential people despise ball pein hammers (believing them to be dangerous or impractical or unnecessary) and instead of merely electing not to use ball pein hammers themselves, they decide to keep ME (and everyone else) from using one.

*** Stupid laws, like the one which banned the standard gasoline can – which was far cheaper and much easier to use – and now requires EVERYone to use the new, expensive “safety” gasoline can… which is extremely difficult to use and spills gasoline all over everywhere. Explain to me, again, how this is “safer”.

Expressions

“At the end of the day” — I am so sick of everyone, from television’s talking heads to columnists and bloggers – not to mention politicians – prefacing their closing conclusion with that hackneyed expression. I don’t know who popularized it, but it seemingly surfaced just a few years ago and now I hear it almost everywhere from nearly everyone, all the way down to grade school kids. Next thing I hear will be a kindergarten kid saying, “At the end of the day, I’d rather have a hot dog than pizza.”

“Do what?” — For years I thought this was a regional response by people who didn’t hear very well. But now I’ve concluded it’s a bizarre reflexive reply to nearly any statement, observation, or question. For years, when faced with that question (“Do what?”), I’ve wanted to reply, “I didn’t say, do anything.” Here’s an example:
Me: “Gosh, that’s a nice looking truck.”
Them: “Do what?”

“That’s what she said.” — You’d think this stupid rejoinder would be confined to middle school campuses. In case you’ve never been exposed to it, it goes like this: nearly anything you utter is met by the reply, “That’s what she said.” Then the respondent doubles over in laughter. First of all, it’s not amusing. It’s stupid, it’s juvenile, and it’s irritating. When I was an Air Force sergeant, a new captain transferred in and he began our working relationship by playing the “That’s what she said” card to nearly every utterance of mine. It took me several weeks to straighten him out about that and a few other annoying habits.

Question:

Does anything tick you off?

[JLS # 285]