One Sock at a Time…

person with mismatched socks

photo from DepositPhotos.com

This week we’re supposed to share our stories about wardrobe malfunctions. Having a job where I had to stand in front of people for most of the day, I’ve had more than my share of them. Some would probably make our resident hound blush, so I’ll skirt around them to protect his sensitive nature.

Anyone who’s lived through a pregnancy knows the challenges of looking polished while your body shape is changing drastically. With my first baby I gained 50 pounds. Towards the end I was unable to see my feet, so I had to rely on a full-length mirror to see my bottom half. Unfortunately, one morning I forgot to look – and I showed up at school wearing black pants, one blue sock, and one green sock. I may have had two different shoes, too – but that was a long, long time ago and I was too embarrassed to want to remember the details.

There was another time when I directed a children’s choir rehearsal at church then ate at the congregational dinner in the basement. It was Christmastime, and I wore a new sweater. The rehearsal went well, and I went down to supper feeling really good about it, and looked forward to eating with my daughters and church friends. But first, I needed to wash my hands. When I got to the restroom, I looked in the mirror and realized my purple sweater was on inside out, and the white shoulder pads had been flopping around all night.

At a hotel I once had a key that simply wouldn’t work. I took the key card down to the front desk where the handsome clerk re-programmed my card and handed it back to me. I searched in vain for the pockets I knew were on the sides of my pants, but I couldn’t find them. I thanked the clerk and headed back to my room. After I got there I decided to get into my jammies. Turns out I was wearing my elastic waist pants backwards and the pockets were behind me instead of in front. If the clerk watched me walk away from him he would have seen my pockets and probably had a good laugh afterwards.

I really do know how to dress myself. It’s just that once in a while my mind is so occupied that a step or two in the process gets missed, and the result is…interesting.

Do you have any family-friendly wardrobe malfunctions to share?

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About Patricia Kiyono

During her first career, Patricia Kiyono taught elementary music, computer classes, elementary classrooms, and junior high social studies. She now teaches music education at the university level. She lives in southwest Michigan with her husband, not far from her five children, nine grandchildren (so far), and great-granddaughters. Current interests, aside from writing, include sewing, crocheting, scrapbooking, and music. A love of travel and an interest in faraway people inspires her to create stories about different cultures. Check out her sweet historical contemporary romances at her Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Patricia-Kiyono/e/B0067PSM5C/
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18 Responses to One Sock at a Time…

  1. jeff7salter says:

    thanks for considering the Hound’s delicate sensibilities. LOL
    Love the anecdote about the shoulder pads… and the hotel room key tale is nearly as good (though not as many people saw you).
    You certainly have a talent for setting new tends in fashion!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My favorite was when a lady walking behind me out of a store said, you have a fabric softener sheet hanging from your pant leg. In fact, I often find them hiding in my clothes at inopportune times.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Patricia Kiyono says:

      Those fabric softener sheets have a way of showing up in odd places, don’t they? At least it was hanging from your pant leg and not plastered to the seat of your pants! Thanks for visiting, Lucy.

      Like

  3. Diane Flannery says:

    Oh, Patty, flopping shoulder pads? Too funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. pamelasthibodeaux says:

    LOL… I can’t remember any right off hand but I’m sure there have been plenty wardrobe malfunctions in my life.
    Great post
    Good luck and God’s blessings
    Pamt

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Apparently, some time back I suggested this topic, yet for the life of me, I don’t know what I was thinking of! I’ll have some fancy thinking to do this week.

    Like

    • Patricia Kiyono says:

      I’m sure you’ll come up with something! Or maybe you’ll imagine something. After all, that’s what we do…

      Like

  6. coryellsusan says:

    Having to dress for my teaching job in the dark due to very early rising, I once donned a blue shoe and a green one. My students never let me forget it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Patricia Kiyono says:

      My hubby actually left for work a few hours before me, so I didn’t have to worry about dressing in the dark – but sometimes, having a light on doesn’t help! I guess I was lucky I taught lower elementary students – they don’t tend to notice mismatched clothes. Thanks for visiting, Susan.

      Like

  7. I’ve had my share of similar incidents, Patty! I’ve worn different earrings, different socks, inside-out shirts. One time I got the back of my skirt stuck inside my panty hose. If not for the kindness of a woman who was washing up at the sink, I would have waltzed out into the world like that! Egads!! I would have thought one of the choir kids’ moms could have pulled you aside to let you know your shoulder pads were flapping! Geesh! Anyway, I’m so glad I’m not alone!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Diane Burton says:

    Funny stories, Patty. At a friend’s mother’s funeral visitation, the elastic in my skirt gave way. Of course no one had a pin so I kept my forearm against the waistband to keep it up. Apropos to that, my friend shared an anecdote about her mom. She was in line at the grocery store when the elastic in her underpants gave way. She just let them drop, picked them up, and stuffed them into her purse.

    Like

  9. Great topic! Once, at church, about halfway through the service, my daughter asked me, “Mommy, why do you have a sock on your shoulder?” I had been sorting socks at home and had them running all up and down my arms, looking for their matches, and let this one escape notice. I couldn’t believe I had been piously kneeling, sitting, and standing with one of my husband’s long white athletic socks on my shoulder! Thanks for sharing, Patricia! You had some doozies!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Design for Comfort | Four Foxes, One Hound

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