This week we are talking about ‘wardrobe malfunctions’. Fortunately, none of mine have been in the ‘advanced’ category, although I have embarrassed myself more than once.
I once wore a dress to first grade that had a beautiful embroidered braid a couple of inches above the hem. One section started to come off after I snagged it on something. It was hanging down so far that I carried it in my hand,(picturing myself as a Medieval Princess with her train), when my very strict teacher called me to her desk. She asked how it happened, and I had to admit that I did pull on it a bit after it started to come down. She took her stapler and used it like a hand-held sewing machine, she tacked the braid back onto my dress.
Fast-forward seven years to me in what we called Intermediate School: 7th grade. Fishnet stockings, which had been something scandalous and are now back to being something toward the risqué side, were all the rage with those of us who were fashion-conscious, and I wore them to school in several colors. A fellow who had been in that same first-grade class with me had the locker next to mine and he would not move to let me get my books and somehow, when he got up, he hooked my fishnets on some part of him and one ripped to shreds. I had to quickly get myself untangled, get my books and get my next class’s teacher to let me slip into the girls’ room and take off my stockings…fortunately, I had a good reputation and the teacher thought nothing of my accident, although I was hard-pressed to explain to my friends and my mother who saw that they were missing that I hooked them on Mike!
One Christmas Eve I was going to a service that was attended by people dressed to the nines, since most were attending parties afterward. I got my husband suited-up, the kids dressed well and I put together a pretty spiffy outfit. Unfortunately, I had failed to look closely at my shoes. When I got home I realized I had gone all evening with, however otherwise identical my shoes were, one was black and one was blue.
Just a couple of years ago I was grabbed by a woman whom I had never seen before as I came out of the restroom of a very busy store. She told me of a problem and she actually right there removed toilet paper that was clinging to me. I bless her every time I think of her!
But now I will ask you if you would have known what was going on with a fellow who once followed me around a fancy department store.
I was in my early twenties. A man who I would say was about forty kept passing in front of me, staring me right in the eye. I tried to ignore him, but he kept it up, coming right in front of me, staring me in the eye, yet never saying a word, and he never touched me. I finally ditched him and then caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror… and was reminded of something I had heard my mother and aunts discussing years before.
Do you know what it was?
My slip was showing! That was how a gentleman let a lady know that her slip was showing without embarrassing her, but also not allowing her to continue to embarrass herself by walking around showing her slip. It was just “known” as a sign, but by that time, fewer women were wearing slips. I still have a couple, but more often than not, when I wear a skirt/dress, I wear ‘pettipants’, slip-like, nylon pants. They are more comfortable and there is no chance for ‘slips slipping’ with those, as long as they aren’t too long for the skirt. [Sorry, Sir Hound, that may be TMI for you!]
Did you know the silent signal for ‘Your slip is showing”?