Silly Love Songs?

Congrats to my fellow Foxes and the Hound for all the writing and submitting that has been going on. I also worked a story I had put down some time ago and it has been submitted to several places. I am looking for more venues to which I can submit it.

Unfortunately, I have been a bit sidetracked by an auto accident. The granddaughters who were with me were shaken, but fine. My car is totaled. We’re still checking on my back, neck, and hands, which have not been great anyway. With any luck, rest and steroids will get me out of any lasting problems. (Please cross your fingers!)

I’m really behind on my reading and writing because of it. Here I had a lot of time but, well, things happen. (And I hope nothing like this happens again!)

I was inspired to write today’s post by an interview on NPR the other day. I only heard a small section of it and do not know the songwriter who was being interviewed, but what she said struck me as very strange.

We are writers of all kinds here, including those of articles, children’s stories, historicals, novels, romances, (quite often), and a couple of us are poets. I don’t know if anyone else has delved into songwriting, (lyrics, to be exact), but surely we are all fans of many types of songs. I’d like to see if any of you have ideas as to how what she proposed could possibly be accomplished. I was hoping that with the diversity of writers and readers, some could come up with ideas.

The woman said that she was concerned about the notions of love in love songs. The idea of giving your heart and soul completely to someone forever was a message that should not be sent out into the world(!) To pledge undying, unconditional love, is, to her, totally unacceptable in this ‘enlightened age’. “People have to know that there is a limit to what you will do for love. When do you stop? When do you say enough is enough and you should not do any more, that there are things that you will not put up with?” She actually said this…about love songs.

Far be it from me to tell anyone to stay in an unhealthy relationship. At risk of repeating myself too many times, I have stated here that I have dissuaded many young girls away from reading the Brontë sisters because they based their ‘heroes’ on their brother, who was no prize. Their male characters display behaviors that no girl should be led to believe are acceptable, nor should they be encouraged to become ‘patsies’ like the female characters, who are victims of the men. (Note that neither Charlotte nor Emily ever married.)

And I have told many men that they should not put up with abuse from women.
When John Lennon was going through his revolutionary phase he told Paul McCartney that the world was full of ‘silly love songs’ and that people have had enough them. Together they wrote some classically beautiful love songs and Paul knew that John was wrong. To answer him, he wrote his hit, “Silly Love Songs” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK5oJcn99d4 when he had his own group, “Wings”.

[Consider this: When John Lennon made his ‘comeback’ just before he died, what were among his biggest hits? Silly (undying) love songs: “Woman” and “Starting Over”.]

Silly or not, a love song is a love song. It is a pledge of love given within a few minutes. It is hope. It is romance. I hate to think that people get married with the idea that, well, they can always get divorced if it isn’t perfect. I prefer to think that most people make vows actually intending to keep them. Judging by the fact that the songs I will use as examples have been played at more weddings than we can count should reassure us. Marriage or not, we are talking about LOVE here and expressing it.

The songwriter said that she didn’t have an answer as to HOW the words should be written, but that they needed to be.

Why?

Should Dan Fogelberg have written in “Longer Than”:
“Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks
And the pages start to yellow
I’ll be in love with you”…. “If you don’t cheat on me” ?

In Elvis’ hit “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You”,
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things
They are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life, too”…should the writers have added: “As long as you don’t hit me”?

Possibly the top rock love song of all time is the hot by the AssociationNever My Love” :
Should it be amended to:
What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you (on you)as long as you behave”?

You say you fear I’ll change my mind
And I won’t require you “to be fair and pay your share”?

How can you think love will end
When I’ve asked you to spend your whole life
With me (with me, with me) “unless you screw up”?

Should Stevie Wonder have said, “I Just Called to Say I Love You”,
but before I say it, what are you up to?

No, he should not have.

I am at a loss as to why the woman thinks a love song should include conditions.
Her love life must have been very hard.

Why do you think?

[Happy St.Patrick’s Day…this should have been posted on St.Valentine’s Day, perhaps? LOL!]

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About Tonette Joyce

Tonette was a once-fledgling lyricists-bookkeeper, turned cook/baker/restaurateur and is now exploring different writing venues,(with a stage play recently completed). She has had poetry and nonfiction articles published in the last few years. Tonette has been married to her only serious boyfriend for more than thirty years and she is, as one person described her, family-oriented almost to a fault. Never mind how others have described her, she is,(shall we say), a sometime traditionalist of eclectic tastes.She has another blog : "Tonette Joyce:Food,Friends,Family" here at WordPress.She and guests share tips and recipes for easy entertaining and helps people to be ready for almost anything.
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8 Responses to Silly Love Songs?

  1. jeff7salter says:

    Wow, quite a lot to think about here.
    First of all, though I do remember hearing about your car collision, I guess I had temporarily forgotten about it because both my wife and I are sick with something that’s “going around.” When one is nursing his/her own maladies, it’s sometimes difficult to remember that many others are suffering… and many with much worse conditions. So, I hope and pray you will fully and quickly recover from the effects of that wreck. Sorry about the vehicle, too.
    BTW, this little mental lapse of mine actually ties into my replies to your post today.
    Too often, one (or both) member of a romantic couple (whether married yet or not) gets his/her focus too narrow and is only looking at self. “What am I getting out of this? Why don’t I feel more bliss?” etc.
    Of course, too many contemporary marriages/relationships are developed with little or no awareness of the Biblical intentions for same, and therefore there are too few couples who view their alliance as much more than a limited partnership. Biblically, we’re instructed to love sacrificially, selfLESSly, and without holding back. In practice, too many couples practice the relationship more like they’re monitoring their stakes in a lengthy poker game.
    I think it’s a shame that writer (interviewed on NPR) basically “dissed” the Biblical sense of marriage/relationship and instead urged the citizenry to insulate themselves, insure themselves, and otherwise contractualize everything in their interactions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your concern, Jeff. I am just concentrating on getting back to where I was before the accident, (which , as you know, wasn’t all that great!).
      I could not agree more on your statements, Jeff. I took my vows very seriously. Has life been perfect? No; I am not perfect, nor is Joe, and circumstances have put strain on both of us, together and individually, but we never threw in the towel. Playing musical partners never makes anyone happy. People get married too quickly and divorced too quickly. Life is never going to be perfect, and I am sorry that so many people believe that all of life should be fun and games. And it seems that any children involved are the last consideration, if any at all.
      I am often amazed at the number of people who are still extremely friendly with their ex-spouses, with close relationships. I have to wonder why they could not “make a go of it”.
      Mind you, I am not referring to abusive situations, let me make that clear.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Patricia Kiyono says:

    Wow, those are cynical thoughts from a songwriter. My bet is that her songs are full of anger, doubt and revenge. As Jeff pointed out, putting conditions on love goes against the Biblical definition. While it’s true that an abusive relationship is not to be tolerated, you don’t go INTO one with these thoughts. I’ll stick with the Silly Love Songs.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Her songs aren’t that way YET, Patty; she said she was trying to figure out how to incorporate those conditions into lyrics, but was at a loss.
    Yes, I can only imagine that she was at a loss. As I asked, how in Heaven’s name do you say “I’ll love you but only unless or as long as you deserve it” ???
    If she said she was against CERTAIN songs, (which I should have thought of to add to the post), such as Elvis’ “Treat me like a fool, treat me mean and cruel, but love me”, then I have to agree. But I can not agree about never pledging true love.

    Like

  4. I feel sadness for that woman. How hard must her life have been for her to feel that way? I survived an abusive relationship and yet I still believe in unconditional love that has no boundaries or limitations. Perhaps it is because I had such wonderful examples from my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. It sounds as if she has given up hope on love and feels it’s an unrealistic fairytale. That’s heartbreaking.

    I am still praying for your recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really is, Angie.I am sorry for your past troubles, but I think there are two kinds of people who have had terrible relationships with parents, family members or partners: those that become bitter and hurtful and those who know that others need kindness. Sometimes, the first can realize the latter is true.Let’s hope the woman does.
      Thanks for your prayers.They are working!

      Like

  5. Joselyn says:

    Love songs quite often describe a moment or one sliver of what true love is. Today the songwriter is looking at it from this angle, tomorrow it might be another. That said I think what she is describing is why so many relationships fall apart. There isn’t as much of the ‘we’ll get through this together.’

    Which is why I hope people seek love songs and romance novels… to inspire them to go through life, the ups and the downs, together.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Despite what life has really been like for a person, I think everyone would like a Happily-Ever-After. It is unfortunate that a few harsh realities make most people think that it is all going to go smoothly.
      One problem is that when we are little, we assume that love is really liking someone a whole lot but lose that idea later.The shame is that we were right to start with; we have to like those whom we would truly love.

      Like

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