That Special K

And I Don’t Mean the Cereal
By Jeff Salter

[I posted this on facebook about a year ago and just now stumbled across it again. It served to renew my zeal to get RID of all those special (i.e., SILENT) ‘K’s. Hope y’all can join and help me uncover even more of the dastardly villains.]


Might as well go ahead and arrest me, cuz I’m breaking the law! Yeah, this whole business about words with a silent ‘K’ is ridiculous and I intend to change it. Here and now.
Henceforth and forever more, for the words with a silent ‘K’, we can simply omit the ‘K’ and save a lot of ink.
But during the transition period, I will allow us all to use an asterisk in place of the silent ‘K’ — just so we can all recognize which word is in play.

Here’s how a typical paragraph might read:

The gallant *night *nelt on the slight *noll, tapping his *nife on his quaking *nee. He *new the dastardly *nave was nearby and that tied the *not in his belly even tighter. He rubbed a *nuckle into the tightly-*nit weave of his chain mail. He had a *nack for charging into trouble because a damsel misplaced her *nickers. Though, in this instance, all the fault lay with the *nave, who (to my *nowledge*nocked down her door.
Ahh, but that’s getting ahead of our story…

Can you think of any more silent ‘K’s we ought to *nock off?

[JLS # 356]


About Jeff Salter

Currently writing romantic comedy, screwball comedy, and romantic suspense. Fourteen completed novels and four completed novellas. Working with three royalty publishers: Clean Reads, Dingbat Publishing, & TouchPoint Press/Romance. "Cowboy Out of Time" -- Apr. 2019 /// "Double Down Trouble" -- June 2018 /// "Not Easy Being Android" -- Feb. 2018 /// "Size Matters" -- Oct. 2016 /// "The Duchess of Earl" -- Jul. 2016 /// "Stuck on Cloud Eight" -- Nov. 2015 /// "Pleased to Meet Me" (novella) -- Oct. 2015 /// "One Simple Favor" (novella) -- May 2015 /// "The Ghostess & MISTER Muir" -- Oct. 2014 /// "Scratching the Seven-Month Itch" -- Sept. 2014 /// "Hid Wounded Reb" -- Aug. 2014 /// "Don't Bet On It" (novella) -- April 2014 /// "Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold -- Dec. 2013 /// "Echo Taps" (novella) -- June 2013 /// "Called To Arms Again" -- (a tribute to the greatest generation) -- May 2013 /// "Rescued By That New Guy in Town" -- Oct. 2012 /// "The Overnighter's Secrets" -- May 2012 /// Co-authored two non-fiction books about librarianship (with a royalty publisher), a chapter in another book, and an article in a specialty encyclopedia. Plus several library-related articles and reviews. Also published some 120 poems, about 150 bylined newspaper articles, and some 100 bylined photos. Worked about 30 years in librarianship. Formerly newspaper editor and photo-journalist. Decorated veteran of U.S. Air Force (including a remote ‘tour’ of duty in the Arctic … at Thule AB in N.W. Greenland). Married; father of two; grandfather of six.
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13 Responses to That Special K

  1. Patricia Kiyono says:

    I *neel before your throne of amazing things I never thought about. My *nobby *nees quake thinking about all this. You *now you should write these in the eternal book of *nowledge, bind them with string tied in the strongest *not, place them in a secret chamber, and play a death *nell on that awful letter that’s prevented your sleep.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. jbrayweber says:

    Noooo! You are giving the editor in me eye twitches! Where’s my red pen? *shuffles around messy desk* I must correct this atrocity!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol it is absolutely possible to laugh and cringe at the same time. I am sure my 8 year old could go for getting rid of the silent k as well as other silent letters. He says they are his nemesis.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Joselyn says:

    The words certainly look weird without the k’s. I think we should add them in rankdom plackes.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I think we covered the Ks, now how about the Gs? Gnarled gnu-riding gnomes gnash and gnaw on gneiss.

    Liked by 1 person

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