Size Matters — Excerpt

Excerpt from my novel, Size Matters

By J. L. Salter

“Size really DOES matter… when you’re only 11 inches tall.”

Accidentally swallowing a mysterious pill from her eccentric scientist cousin, Emma Hobby shrinks to the size of those fashion dolls she collects and sells in her shop. When she resumes normal size, Emma must track down her cousin, who’s obviously in trouble (based on those crazy messages he sent). Can those sci-fi miniaturization pills help find him? How about Logan Stride, the attorney who wants to handle more of Emma than her case?

Size Matters-C

Excerpt from Size Matters [Chapter 1]:

Saturday, early morning

“What do you mean you were a foot tall?” asked my friend Vickilee, after I’d tearfully repeated what happened to me last night.

“As in literally,” I explained for the fourth time. “I was standing eyeball to eyeball with thirteen Cyndi dolls in my big display in the main room.” I live above my shop but had fallen asleep downstairs still wearing my traveling clothes.

Vickilee sat me down again — though I kept popping back up because I was too rattled to sit — and tried to pin me to her chair by pressing on both shoulders. “Now, start from the beginning, after you woke with the horrid migraine.”

This wasn’t helping. It was early Saturday morning, and I’d invaded Vickilee’s home, where her fiancé Brisco was loudly snoring in the back bedroom. “Maybe it was a mistake to come here. I’m sorry.” I tried to peel her hands from my shoulders so I could slink away into the Verdeville, Tennessee, morning.

After she released me, she slumped back into her own chair with tears in her eyes. “Emma, I want to help, and I’m trying to understand. Honestly, I am. But all this malarkey about being one foot tall is freaking me out. Is this about your dreamy lawyer boyfriend? What’s going on?”

“Logan Stride is not officially my boyfriend yet.” Though I already thought of him that way. “I told you he’s a stickler about not dating clients. So we’re just pre-dating until Grandma Nana’s estate is completely settled.” That required one final appearance before a judge, presumably within the coming week. “Logan says all the paperwork is fine. It’s just some certain period of time—”

“Maybe you’re too stressed about your shop,” she suggested, interrupting again. “Is business okay? You’re not about to lose everything, are you?”

“It’s not about the shop, either.” Vickilee was correct. My nascent business was iffy; however, the books were in the black and I could still pay the modest salaries of my two reliable assistants. “Something happened, Vickilee, and I’m trying to explain.” I was wearing hardly more than pajamas with a bathrobe when I’d raced over as the bright sun was rising. Fortunately, Vickilee lived directly across Marple Street. “I know it sounds extraordinary, but it happened. I shrank, gradually, over a period of about an hour or so. I’m guessing a bit. At first I thought I was having a stroke, then I figured I was dying. Somewhere along the line, I must’ve passed out. When I came to, I realized everything was fine… except I was only eleven inches tall.”

Vickilee grasped my hands tightly across her kitchen table and sniffled, one step short of bawling. She was taking it almost as badly as I had. “But you’re regular size now, Emma. Of course, you look like leftover pizza, but if we clean you up a bit and get you dressed, things will seem better.”

Yep, she thought I was nuts. “I know how it sounds. If you came rushing over to my shop with this story, I’d think you were off your rail. I understand how you feel. But I’m telling you it really happened. I was face to face with Cyndi dolls…”

“A dream, Emma. That’s all it was.” She rose and moved to her coffee pot, where she stood monitoring me. It seemed like she was about to call the local psych ward. “You had a bad dream. That, mixed with the migraine, and your brain tricked you into thinking it really happened.” When Vickilee tried to pour, her hands shook so badly more coffee spilled to the floor and counter than entered either cup. “People can’t shrink down to nothing and then grow back out. That’s only in schlocky science-fiction movies.”

I would agree with her if it hadn’t actually happened.

—–

Size Matters. Novel, TouchPoint Romance, $1.99. http://tinyurl.com/SalSizeMat

[JLS # 367]

 

About Jeff Salter

Currently writing romantic comedy, screwball comedy, and romantic suspense. Fourteen completed novels and four completed novellas. Working with three royalty publishers: Clean Reads, Dingbat Publishing, & TouchPoint Press/Romance. "Cowboy Out of Time" -- Apr. 2019 /// "Double Down Trouble" -- June 2018 /// "Not Easy Being Android" -- Feb. 2018 /// "Size Matters" -- Oct. 2016 /// "The Duchess of Earl" -- Jul. 2016 /// "Stuck on Cloud Eight" -- Nov. 2015 /// "Pleased to Meet Me" (novella) -- Oct. 2015 /// "One Simple Favor" (novella) -- May 2015 /// "The Ghostess & MISTER Muir" -- Oct. 2014 /// "Scratching the Seven-Month Itch" -- Sept. 2014 /// "Hid Wounded Reb" -- Aug. 2014 /// "Don't Bet On It" (novella) -- April 2014 /// "Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold -- Dec. 2013 /// "Echo Taps" (novella) -- June 2013 /// "Called To Arms Again" -- (a tribute to the greatest generation) -- May 2013 /// "Rescued By That New Guy in Town" -- Oct. 2012 /// "The Overnighter's Secrets" -- May 2012 /// Co-authored two non-fiction books about librarianship (with a royalty publisher), a chapter in another book, and an article in a specialty encyclopedia. Plus several library-related articles and reviews. Also published some 120 poems, about 150 bylined newspaper articles, and some 100 bylined photos. Worked about 30 years in librarianship. Formerly newspaper editor and photo-journalist. Decorated veteran of U.S. Air Force (including a remote ‘tour’ of duty in the Arctic … at Thule AB in N.W. Greenland). Married; father of two; grandfather of six.
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13 Responses to Size Matters — Excerpt

  1. kathleenbee says:

    Wow, Jeff. Such a compelling idea! Sounds like a fun read.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kathleenbee says:

    Oh, and I used to love my Cyndi dolls. I haven’t seen any for years. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Patricia Kiyono says:

    Great excerpt. I’d have a tough time dealing with the situation, too. Hope to read this one soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My sister had been given a “Coty” doll, one of the first fashion dolls, named for the fashion house. I guess they thought that her little sister would want one, so they gave one to me, too.I cut her hair really short and everyone was really mad.(I bet they would be worth a fortune now!) Later we had ‘Tammy” dolls, and I loved mine dearly.
    I hope this one is HUGE for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jeff7salter says:

      Thanks, Tonette. I have a few (of my 14 titles so far released) that I really thought had the potential for “taking off” in sales. Alas, so far none have hit the big-time.

      Like

  5. How in the world will she ever be able to make someone believe her without getting carted off to the loony bin?!?!? What a great premise for a story! I think I’ll check it out on Amazon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • jeff7salter says:

      Thanks, Stacey. I hope you decide to get it. Should be a fun read. And it’s relatively short, as I recall — around 60,000 words maybe.

      Like

  6. Pingback: Size DOES Matter | Four Foxes, One Hound

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