Spider in the Mail

Must’ve Been a Special Delivery
By Jeff Salter

Youse guys are surely aware of my aversion to spiders. Some of you may even recall my on-going battle with spiders who set up camp in my mailbox.
Me being super-cautious, I always give the box a good eyeball before I reach in to retrieve the mail.

spider-furry

this is not the exact spider I’m referring to, but it’s just about as scary as the one that danced across my hand.

Today, for example, I opened the lid, peered in, saw it to be clear, and slid out the 5-6 pieces of mail.
While crossing the road, I was casually flipping through the pieces to see which new bills I’d received.
When, all of a sudden, a spider (the size of a silver dollar) skittered across my hand and leapt to the pavement.
Momentarily containing my revulsion, I jumped up and down on it about 17 times until I was certain it could no longer haunt my mailbox.
Those of you who insist that I simply “turn loose” these spiders and “give them their freedom” … have likely never had a spider the size of a silver dollar skitter across your hand (after hiding in your mail… and waiting for you to arrive).

Question: Do you find spiders in YOUR mailbox?

[JLS # 438]

About Jeff Salter

Currently writing romantic comedy, screwball comedy, and romantic suspense. Fourteen completed novels and four completed novellas. Working with three royalty publishers: Clean Reads, Dingbat Publishing, & TouchPoint Press/Romance. "Cowboy Out of Time" -- Apr. 2019 /// "Double Down Trouble" -- June 2018 /// "Not Easy Being Android" -- Feb. 2018 /// "Size Matters" -- Oct. 2016 /// "The Duchess of Earl" -- Jul. 2016 /// "Stuck on Cloud Eight" -- Nov. 2015 /// "Pleased to Meet Me" (novella) -- Oct. 2015 /// "One Simple Favor" (novella) -- May 2015 /// "The Ghostess & MISTER Muir" -- Oct. 2014 /// "Scratching the Seven-Month Itch" -- Sept. 2014 /// "Hid Wounded Reb" -- Aug. 2014 /// "Don't Bet On It" (novella) -- April 2014 /// "Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold -- Dec. 2013 /// "Echo Taps" (novella) -- June 2013 /// "Called To Arms Again" -- (a tribute to the greatest generation) -- May 2013 /// "Rescued By That New Guy in Town" -- Oct. 2012 /// "The Overnighter's Secrets" -- May 2012 /// Co-authored two non-fiction books about librarianship (with a royalty publisher), a chapter in another book, and an article in a specialty encyclopedia. Plus several library-related articles and reviews. Also published some 120 poems, about 150 bylined newspaper articles, and some 100 bylined photos. Worked about 30 years in librarianship. Formerly newspaper editor and photo-journalist. Decorated veteran of U.S. Air Force (including a remote ‘tour’ of duty in the Arctic … at Thule AB in N.W. Greenland). Married; father of two; grandfather of six.
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10 Responses to Spider in the Mail

  1. No spiders IN, but AROUND my mailbox. There is a post that once had a newspaper box next to my mailbox and the spiders like to make webs between them. They are never big spiders there, but ohmygoshalmighty, there are ridiculous-sized ones that have been known to cover my kitchen window and the doors.
    I had both sons and their wives living here for a short time when they first got married and that year, the big spiders were in abundance, and they loved covering our always-used side door, under the overhang. One son could move them, one would kill them (after all, they did just come right back), but the daughters-in-law would call from the driveway (and often wake me up) to ‘save them’ so they could get into the house.
    One son goes nuts if he sees a spider in the house and insists that I have an infestation. “It’s KENTUCKY!” (I say) “There are going to be SPIDERS!”
    Close up the holes in your mailbox, Jeff, and keep the door shut.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. jbrayweber says:

    Bwahahahahahahaha! I suppose everyone has something that gives them the heebie-jeebies. I mean, even Indiana Jones was scared of something.
    I’m not afraid of spiders. I had a pet tarantula once.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Patricia Kiyono says:

    I have yet to encounter the horrifying spider in my mailbox, although I discovered one in the shower with me yesterday. I couldn’t exactly stomp on it without risking my balance, so I took down the shower head and directed him toward the drain. My mailbox, with its wooden post, was home to a wasp’s nest a few years ago, and THAT definitely made me cautious about collecting our mail!
    Glad you survived your ordeal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jeff Salter says:

      glad someone recognizes that this was indeed an ordeal. LOL
      wasps are horrid creatures… with nothing but evil on their teeny brains.

      Like

  4. Eek! We have a mail slot with a little box under it to catch the mail on our three season porch. I often find spiders in the little box. I give each letter a shake before I really hold it just in case.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That’s too funny, Jeff. But I laughed at Indiana Jones and his fear of snakes, too. I give both a wide berth, although I’m not terrified of them. Just don’t like them since they both bite. Down here, we have all kinds of spiders and they are everywhere. From tiny black ones that look like dust to the big yellow and black banana spiders that weave webs between the trees. We have a resident spider (not sure what kind) that is always building a web between the back patio awning and the cedar tree. Arnie walks out there in the morning with a broom and knocks it down, but it keeps coming back for more. He’s even tried spraying.

    Hey, you need to add this experience in one of your books. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jeff Salter says:

      we have several of those persistent ones, who can rebuild their webs overnight if we knock them down each day.
      That, of course, is for webs they place in areas that we have to walk !!!!!

      Like

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