Aimee Goes to Church


Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope your day is going great. I couldn’t think of anything I really wanted to write about today so I’m just sharing an excerpt from my romantic comedy Fortuna. In this excerpt my heroine goes to church and ends up being the center of attention.  She’s accompanied by her fiancé Rocky.

Glad to have something to do other than listen to Rocky talk about wrestling Aimee moved down one side of a long table full of food, removing tin foil, plastic wrap, or covers from the various dishes. Everything smelled nice, especially the fried chicken and macaroni and cheese pie. Rocky joined her near the end of the table just as she took the lid off a square plastic container. He peered into the dish. “What’s that?”

Aimee took a look and saw something that reminded her of meatballs: blue, perfectly shaped meatballs. She giggled. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Both of them stopped snickering when a buxom blonde wearing a tight, flowered blouse approached with a frown on her face. Aimee gasped. This was the woman from the coffee shop at the funeral home.


The woman recognized her at the same time. “You!”

“Yeah, I recognize you too.” Aimee tried to instill the proper amount of disdain in her voice.

A second, older woman who looked somewhat like the blonde wandered over to the table to see what was going on. Fortified by the newcomer’s presence, the buxom blonde gestured wildly toward the table. “What are you doing to my bean balls?”

“Bean balls?”
“Yes. You were staring at my bean balls.”
Aimee giggled even though she tried not to. “I was just taking the lid off them. Honest.”
“Well, I don’t like the way you were looking at them.

Don’t you know it’s better for you to eat healthy food?”
Aimee gritted her teeth, amusement gone. “I was looking at them because I had no idea what they were.” She wondered if the blonde was about to have a stroke. Her face was that red. Actually, it matched her skirt pretty well, which, by the way, didn’t match her tight blouse.

The woman gave Aimee the evil eye. “You are a hateful, mean woman. I’m sorry I ever met you. First you misrepresented yourself at the coffee shop, and now you mock my bean balls.”

“I did not!”

Without warning the blonde jerked the plastic container away from Aimee. It scooted across the table and crashed into a gelatin salad, taking a corner off its molded perfection. The blue bean balls went everywhere, rolling around the table like marbles on steroids. ”Look what you’ve done,” the blonde wailed. “Nobody will want to eat them now.”

She snatched a bean ball and hurled it at Aimee, who ducked just in time. “You missed me,” she taunted. She had no sooner finished speaking before a second bean ball flew through the air. This one caught the shoulder of her new blouse.

The blonde laughed.

Aimee grabbed a bean ball from the table and threw it at the blonde. She hit the woman right in the chest. “Help me!” the blonde shrieked. “She hit me in the heart. Where’s the sheriff?”

From the corner of her eye, Aimee saw the priest hurrying their way. She fired one final bean ball, which hit the blonde’sforehead with a beany thud.

Rocky grabbed her arm. “They’re circling the wagons. Let’s get out of here.”

Practically running, they made their escape from the church. Rocky took the precaution of locking the truck doors. He sighed. “I guess we can’t come back to this church either. Are we going tobecome atheists?”

“Of course not!”

Sunk in gloom, they drove back to Fortuna. The jinx was still on as far as churches were concerned.


About Elaine Cantrell

Elaine Cantrell was born and raised in South Carolina. She has a Master’s Degree in Personnel Services from Clemson University and is a member of Alpha Delta Kappa, an international honorary sorority for women educators. She is also a member of Romance Writers of America. Her first novel A New Leaf was the 2003 winner of the Timeless Love Contest and was published in 2004 by Oak Tree Press. When she isn't writing you can find Elaine playing with her dog or maybe collecting more vintage Christmas ornaments
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9 Responses to Aimee Goes to Church

  1. Jeff Salter says:

    LOL. Love a food fight!
    Aimee sounds like a hoot.


    • Elaine Cantrell says:

      She is. Lots of the antics she gets up to are based on real life events that happened to either me or my family. The food fight was me and my son at a family reunion. We never threw any food, but we did find blue bean balls and got caught laughing at them.


  2. Blue bean balls? I have to know if you have ever seen such a thing! I may have to g looking.
    Sounds like fun, Elaine! It’s a smooth read.


  3. Patricia Kiyono says:

    I read and reviewed this book on this blog when it first came out. I enjoyed the misadventures these two had!


  4. I really enjoyed this book when I read it.


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