Pessin’? Yessin’? Guessin’.

Do I consider myself a pessimist or an optimist?

Oh, wow.

I have been both.

I am a worrier, I admit. I will imagine worst-case scenarios.
The biggest problem I have is that in my life what can go wrong usually does go wrong, and I try to be prepared, even though sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised.

Or more often, pleasantly SHOCKED, when anything works out to be great.

I always like to be prepared and it has paid off in so many ways, either by avoiding catastrophes, by making things easier when they happen anyway, or to alleviate the damage when it’s been out of my hands completely.

I’d rather not be UNpleasantly shocked, and, actually after all these years, that almost never happens anymore. Oh, the bad things keep happening, I’m just very seldom blind-sided.

I was raised in a defeatist mentality; which I have endeavored to rise above, but being prepared has kept me reasonably sane.

So, although I imagine and prepare for the worst, I HOPE for the best.

I get up every morning.
I encourage others.

I plaster a smile on my face when I go shopping and love to see others respond.

I freeze a smile on my lips as soon as I get to the doors of my brother’s nursing home, more for the staff’s sake than for the other ‘inmates’ (as my brother calls himself and fellow patients).

I have plans. I plan for good things.
I start many good things and often, finish them.

I go to sleep expecting to see the next day,  so much so that I have undergone general anesthesia eleven times (and not been surprised to wake up each time).
I also always plan to do better than I did the day before.

I pray.

I know there is more to the world than what we see.

I also know that there is more to life than what we experience physically .

So, am I more of an optimist than the pessimist that people think me to be?

I think that I am.