Oh, Brother! Try This On For Size.

Question of the week, in this time of COVID:

Once it’s safe to do so, what’s the first thing you want to do that you haven’t been able to do in the last 10-12 months?

This is too easy: I want to visit my brother.

I think that all of us brought up visiting with family this week, which is no surprise, since we are all very family-centered people here.

My life has been quiet, especially after The Husband retired and I had some surgery a few years ago, when things got very quiet.

My grandkids grew to be teens and went to different schools, away from the ones near me. Even when one or two stayed here, it was quiet. It wasn’t the constant stream of friends of theirs as it was when their fathers were teens.

Even when they were older, my sons would bring guests in, and Son#2 would often bring in some from college to stay, but that has also been years now. That son has been moving around to other parts of the country, so no more of that; times like those will not come back.

I’ve seen The Grandkids, but not often. Our communication is down to basically text messaging and an occasional call. It drives me  NUTS, but beats no communication by a longshot.

My sister, a niece and another niece’s son live not far from me, but The Sister and I text and talk on the phone…a lot. My mother said that she started talking  very early and she never stopped. We stopped visiting for some reason. We drop things off with each other but never stay. My niece there has been unwell. Odd, but I can’t say that it is much different now than it has been for a number of years.

The other niece and her husband live out of town, yet we would often go out of the way when we would see my brother to visit her, and meet up with him, at the restaurant that she manages. We have not been able to do that since March.

My brother, as you no doubt know by now, is a troubled Vietnam vet. He has been unwell for some time. When he was living at home, he would run hot and cold about me, with little to no provocation. When my sister found herself unable to visit him as continually as she used to in the nursing home, (which has been 40+ miles from us), The Husband and I started making weekly trips there to stay and visit for around 3 hours. I’d take whatever he needed from home, (clothes, etc.), extra drinks, specialty foods, and one home-cooked meal.  The men would speak more than I would, (having more movies, geography and history in common). It also gave my brother less reason to find to be bothered by me, since we could never see his change toward me coming. We’d watch old westerns and he’d remember every minor bit player and what other movies or shoes that he had also seen them in, but he would also rewrite family history…and his own. He has no recollection of receiving a Purple Heart, let alone the battle and the injury. He doesn’t believe that it happened, even though he told my mother and me, which was one of the few times he spoke of battle.

Since March, we have been dropping off boxes for him, when we could. When he has to go to the hospital, he is put into quarantine and no boxes are allowed in. There was a few-month stoppage of all incoming boxes, which is kind of crazy, since the staff goes in and out and all of their supplies, food, linen, and anything else  you can think of is delivered. (They also keep the boxes away from the patients for a few days, so I can send no meal or perishable foods.)

I would also say that I’d like to go and get my hair done, but since I gave myself a better cut than all but two I have ever had, I can’t even say that I am champing at the bit anymore for that one.

What I really  could do with is doing some clothes shopping. Not being able to try things on has stopped me cold. It is difficult for me to find clothes that fit. Suffice it to say that for one good reason, (and one that I am not so happy about), the assumptions that if you gain weight, all of your body parts gain weight proportionately is a major misconception on the part of clothing designers/manufacturers. To get pants to fit in one area without being baggy in another is a real trial, (and tell me why they think that if those who wear an extra-large blouses, dresses and nightwear are all buxom?)

So, after visiting my brother, I am going quickly to go try on slacks!

I don’t know if I will be ready for the excitement.