Would You Continue Reading This?

Today I’d like to share an excerpt from my new WIP. I started writing this a few years ago, but I put it aside in favor of other manuscripts. It’s time now to pick it back up. I’m struggling to find a title for it, and I don’t have a blurb yet, but here’s the beginning of the book. If you see anything I need to fix please say so. More importantly, would this introduction make you continue with the book, or do I go back to the drawing board?

The plane shuddered, and the seatbelt light flickered on.  Almost immediately the passengers heard Captain Anders’ voice over the intercom.  “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve hit a little turbulence, but it’s nothing to worry about.  Please remain in your seats until the seatbelt light goes off.  We should be landing in Miami within the hour.”

Brent Holloway looked out the window and saw that the plane had entered a dark cloud.  Couldn’t the weatherman ever get it right?  This morning’s forecast had called for clear weather.  

The middle-aged lady in the seat beside him cleared her throat and tapped Brent’s shoulder.  “Ah, you don’t think we’re in trouble, do you?”

“No, ma’am, I’m sure everything’s fine.  It’s not unusual for planes to encounter turbulence.”

“I haven’t been on a plane in years,” the woman confessed.  “I’m afraid to fly.”

Brent gave her a reassuring smile.  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m a pilot myself, and I’m not concerned.”

“What kind of planes do you fly?”

Brent grinned.  “I fly these big babies.  I work for this airline.”

The woman’s shoulders relaxed.  “You must have been on vacation,” she correctly guessed.  Do you have any idea where we are?”

“Yes, ma’am.  We just passed Bimini Island.”

“Isn’t that in the Bahamas?”

Brent never answered because Stephanie Monroe, one of the flight attendants, stopped beside their seats and said with a smile, “Captain Holloway, Captain Anders would like to see you for one moment, please.”            

“Sure thing,” Brent answered.

His companion had started to chew on her bottom lip, so Brent gave her shoulder a little squeeze.  “I’ll be back in a minute.  Then I’ll tell you about the time one of my passengers sneaked a pet squirrel onboard.  It caused quite a commotion.”

The woman laughed.  “I bet it did.” 

Brent followed Stephanie toward the cockpit.  “What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I don’t know.  Anders just said to get you in a hurry.”

About Elaine Cantrell

Elaine Cantrell was born and raised in South Carolina. She has a Master’s Degree in Personnel Services from Clemson University and is a member of Alpha Delta Kappa, an international honorary sorority for women educators. She is also a member of Romance Writers of America. Her first novel A New Leaf was the 2003 winner of the Timeless Love Contest and was published in 2004 by Oak Tree Press. When she isn't writing you can find Elaine playing with her dog or maybe collecting more vintage Christmas ornaments
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8 Responses to Would You Continue Reading This?

  1. Absolutely I would keep reading and now, I REALLY want to know what happens next!
    I would truly give you help if I saw any problem, but I don’t see any. This scene is authentic and the conversation flows. It is all quite reasonable, no one telling too much, the man going into reassuring ‘pilot’ mode for the woman, the attendant being professional, she and Brent whispering to each other. I have been on planes when there has been trouble and this is the attitude they take.
    You will see what I mean if you go back and read: :https://fourfoxesonehound.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/gearing-up-for-a-landing/
    I can’t believe that I have been here that long!
    I want to read this story, Elaine, very much so.


    • Elaine Cantrell says:

      I read your post. That’s scary! I’ve never encountered any trouble like you did, but my husband has. He was flying home from Cincinnati I think it was, and he flew into an ice storm the closer he got to home. The wings on the plane were icing up, and even though they tried several airports, all the runways were closed due to the ice. They headed south and finally found a place to land. My husband didn’t get home until the next day. This was not a big plane so everyone was aware of the drama going on. Like you, he’s flown many times since then.

      Thanks so much for the reassurance on the beginning of the book. I’m excited about writing this one. Last night my poor husband had to listen to me ramble on and on about what I wanted to do with it. If I write it the way I’d like to with an evil character winning in the end nobody will like it, but it really would be a logical ending. We’ll see.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jeff Salter says:

    Definitely want to read more.
    And flying is something I used to do quite a lot, but haven’t done since about 1998 I think.
    One of my last flights had so much turbulence that I literally said my final prayers and thought we were going down. NOT a pleasant journey.


  3. Patricia Kiyono says:

    I love this! I love the way Brent reassures the woman. Hope you continue with this story!


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