Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold — Excerpt 2

Excerpt # 2
Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold
[A screwball comedy]

By Jeff Salter

Here’s the second short excerpt from my newest novel — a screwball comedy, “Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold”.

A stubborn boyfriend with the sniffles is the last thing Amanda needs in her apartment during THIS work crisis, but how can she get clueless Jason to leave without just ending their relationship?

— — —

Excerpt # 2

From Chapter 1

Amanda, in her apartment; her best friend Christine visiting; Amanda’s boyfriend Jason on his way over. Christine has been trying to convince Amanda how impossible it is to deal with a sick male. 

“Okay, back up, Amanda. Let’s say you were in-the-bed ill, with doctor-ordered bed rest.” Christine’s hand went horizontal. “Would Jason take care of you at his apartment?”

“Are you kidding? He’d tell me he’d been evicted and show me a cell phone picture of a notice on his door.”

“Okay, you’re catching on. So, tit for tat.” Christine Powers crossed tanned arms beneath her augmented bosom. Divorced for about four years, she was financially secure because of her lucrative alimony settlement. Frankly, she had too much free time on her hands: brunette Christine had lots of urges and often followed up on them — she behaved more like a redhead. “In fact, if you were the one sick, I’ll bet Jason wouldn’t even help you here at your place.”

Amanda merely shrugged.

“Of course not.” Christine showed a satisfied smile. “I’m glad I was able to talk sense into you.”

“You realize I’ve got to help Jason.”

“Why? He’s obviously not worth it.”

“I do actually love him, you know.” Amanda sighed.

“Give me one reason.” Christine rolled her eyes.

“Well, right now I can only think of his eyes — they’re deep and soulful… and loyal.”

“A spaniel has interesting eyes and loyalty. Get a dog.” Christine was uncommonly pragmatic at times.

It was sometimes difficult to ignore Christine’s negative attitude toward the man in Amanda’s life. Why does she have it in for Jason?

Christine frowned. “So you actually intend to cancel your own home life for the next two weeks and baby Jason?”

“Don’t really have a choice. I can’t totally refuse to help my boyfriend. But I don’t think I’ll survive his sickness.”

“Okay, the only workable option is he stays in his own apartment and you bring deli soup each evening.”

“You must be joking.” Amanda bent forward until her face nearly met her knees. “He’ll be on Facebook and e-mail telling everyone he’s been abandoned to die. Somebody would probably start up a blog to raise donations for his cure.”

“Yeah. He does tend toward the dramatic. Probably got that from his momma, too. When boy babies nurse that long, they suck in a lot of drama.” Christine didn’t explain her certainty that Jason had spent more than the typical phase at Margaret’s breast. “Plus, I thought guys who played all those team sports didn’t get sick. This is weird.”

“You know, it is pretty suspicious that he fell ill during the one sliver of August when none of his leagues have any games scheduled.”

Christine’s mind obviously churned. “I still say there’s got to be another solution.”

“I’ve been pulling my hair out, looking for it.” Amanda tugged on the longer front tresses of her inverted bob cut — honey brown coloring this year. “I hate guys getting man-sick. If you and I had a cold like that, we’d just keep on going.” She moaned again. “I’m in for total misery with no escape. He’ll sit around in his jammies all day, contemplating what’s inside his jammies. Guess what he’s thinking about while I’m at work all day.”

“Sex… with you.”

Amanda nodded and closed her expressive blue eyes. “One time in that January siege, I was up all night bringing water or pills… or just listening to him whimper. I dragged myself to work, put up with nine hours of B.S. from my boss, and then crawled home. There was Jason — a stupid smile on his face, sprawled on the couch in those ratty jammies.”

Christine looked into her friend’s tear-stained face. “You didn’t fall for that old routine.”

“I did, back then, but I’ve wised up. So it’s mainly a matter of extra guilt.” Amanda recalled the previous occasion. “Don’t even get me started about the mucous and coughing… plus he hadn’t showered in two days. Yuck.”

Christine’s expression clearly indicated she shared that characterization.

Amanda slowly toppled over onto the vacant cushion. “I feel sick myself. Maybe I’ll go home to my mom.”

“Arizona? In August?” Christine poked her friend’s shoulder. “Just pull up your big-girl panties and tell him no. Jason cannot stay here with you, period. Just break the news quick and steel yourself against his whining.”

“I can’t. I’ve been trying to tell you: he’s already on his way over. Right now.”

Christine quickly began gathering her belongings. “You’ve got two choices…”

“Suicide is one. What’s the other?”

— — —

I hope you’ll come back again for another short excerpt. If you’d like to see the first excerpt, scroll down to March 20.

— — —

Back-Cover BLURB

A stubborn boyfriend with the sniffles is the last thing Amanda needs in her apartment during THIS work crisis, but how can she get clueless Jason to leave without just ending their relationship?

Fortunately, her divorced girlfriend hurriedly develops the devious scare-cure. Amanda throws everything at Jason that Christine can dream up and that apartment becomes the least hospitable place a man could possibly imagine. Extensive potpourri and a glued-down toilet seat is just the beginning.

But how serious are the privacy risks as Christine blogs about her scare-cure? Can this crazy scheme really get Jason out of Amanda’s hair at home before she loses her mind at work?

Will Amanda’s relationship even survive the kooky cure of Jason’s man-cold?

Buy link:

            Only $2.99 in digital format; paperback also available (price varies)

http://www.amazon.com/Curing-Uncommon-Man-Cold-J-L-Salter-ebook/dp/B00HERC3UC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1390055498&sr=1-1

Facebook Author Page:

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJLSalter

QUESTION:

Have YOU ever tended to a male with an uncommon Man-Cold?
How did YOU cope?