“There’ll Be Some Changes Made”

“If I were suddenly a bestselling author with lots of fame & royalties… how might my life and/or my typical days be different?” That is the question of the week.

Well, I think I covered what I would do altruistically when we were asked sometime back about suddenly getting our mitts on a million bucks,(“If I Were a Rich [Wo]Man” Sept. 5, 2014), but day-to-day?

I would certainly streamline a few things around here. I would have said I’d enlarge my house to make things easier, but since I am near a prominent corner and there is interest is in acquiring my place to be built upon, I think moving would be in order.
When I met a New York Times best-selling author, I asked her about time to write. I added, “Oh, but you must have [hired] help.” She said, almost apologetically, “I do. I have so many people working for me right now it is embarrassing.” I said, “Oh, don’t apologize for giving people jobs! I would LOVE to be in the position to give people jobs.” And you bet I would.

I’d free myself up for writing and cultural/social events that I am hard-pressed to find the time or the means to attend. I’d be at signings, (other people’s), conferences, book fests, you name it. I’d have help for the housework, large and small. I’d have people around to help hold down the fort here for the pets and grandkids. I could subsidize relatives so they wouldn’t have to work elsewhere, which brings me to the big one: my husband could take an early retirement.

It would be wonderful to have him around more. And since times fell on us and he has taken a job with honest work, it’s only been ‘work’, and not intellectually fulfilling. Plus, he puts in overtime and works evening so it’s been difficult socially for some years now to have guests or go out for an evening. We’d also have the time and dollars to do a little traveling. He’d probably go back to college for a post-graduate degree. I’ve thought of going back to school, but I doubt that I would. I know my time is limited.

With the grandkids here, I don’t feel like I can escape leave Kentucky. After more than twenty years of being here I know that fame and fortune won’t change anything about my comfort level or my \ status although I know that some here would seek me out who don’t now. I am afraid that since I am deemed unworthy of their social circles now, any new f&f of mine might make a difference to them , but they will still be unworthy of my attention. I can choose my own company based on those who finds me interesting NOW, thank you very much.

If you don’t know the song from which I borrowed the title, here is Peggy Lee’s version. OK, I would certainly not change everything about me, just be able bring out what I haven’t been able to shine before.[Ignore the part about no one wanting you when you’re old and gray, btw!]

However, I can dream of things being different. Have you ever seen the movie “Bedazzeled”? It’s one of my favorites. Brendan Frasier plays a hapless cubical worker who tries too hard to ingratiate himself with his fellow workers, and he has a mad, unrequited crush on a woman who works for another part of their company. The devil, in the beautiful form of Elizabeth Hurley, offers to give him everything he wants including the woman of his dreams. In terribly funny scenarios, all of which include his fellow workers, his wishes fall apart one by one. It is a morality play and all ends well. However badly all of Brendan’s wishes pan out, if you see the movie, watch for when HE is a rich and famous author. Do you see his co-worker-turned-society hostess?

I would be her. Or, rather, I’d have her location, her penthouse, her money, her position, her party… and her dress!

Ah, well, that will never happen, but the rest could.