Busted!

I’m sure my mom has a sense of humor, but when it comes to hilarious stuff from my childhood, my dad is more likely to be involved.  However, I’m sure my kiddos have plenty of ammunition to bust me with when they visit me in the nursing home and embarrass me in front of all my friends.  (I envision it as kind of a reverse high school cafeteria situation, though I’m not sure the food will be much improved.)

Apparently I’m quite the source of amusement for my kids.  I didn’t ever think I was mockable until I had kids.  As a teacher, I suspected my teen students would find something, anything, to tease me about, but they went pretty easy on me based on what got back to me in the teacher’s lounge.  However, my children wasted little time.  They ratted me out nearly as soon as they could speak.

Anyone who has ever ridden with me can tell you I have little patience with stupid drivers.  My children are no exception.  One time, we were going through downtown Jacksonville on our way to check out the progress on our new home construction.  My husband was the one driving while I was in the passenger seat.  My kids were three and four at the time.  (The third kiddo was not even a thought yet.)  We were stopped at a red light.  (Because in downtown Jax, you will ALWAYS get trapped by a red light.)  Eventually it turned green.  I’m sure it took longer than I wanted, but since I wasn’t driving, I kept my mouth shut.  We were a few cars back, so we had to wait for the ones up front to start moving.  Suddenly, the most annoyed-sounding voice ever to come from a child safety seat in the back of a minivan goes, “The light’s green.  Go cars, go.  What are you waiting for?”

In my head, I’m going, “Wait.  I’m not talking.”  But that was the EXACT SAME TONE I would have used had I actually said that.  Meanwhile, my husband does this slow, head turn towards me and is biting his lips to keep from laughing.  I give him my best I-have-no-idea-where-they-would-have-learned-that look, but I am totally busted.  I mean come on!  Who’s he gonna believe?  Me or someone who can’t even blow their own nose without help?  (The runny-nosed munchkin won out.)

I’m not the only one in my family who has suffered from this kind of Mom-busting.  My older sister’s boys did the same thing to her.  My older nephew asked me who Bill Bennett was.  I thought it was a game, so I said, “I don’t know, Brian.  Who is Bill Bennett?”  At which point he would have told me all about Bill Bennett if he knew.  He didn’t, and then proceeded to continue asking me who Bill Bennett was, because by golly, that four year old was sure his Aunt Micki knew the answer.  If only I had a smartphone with Google on it back then!  After quite a bit of this, his younger brother finally pipes up and says, “Brian!  She doesn’t know.  So quit askin’ ‘fore I wring your neck!”  Pretty threatening coming from a two year old!  Exact same tone my older sister had used on me when we were kids.  My sister apparently specializes in neck-wringing.  Or at least the threats of it.

Now that my older two are teenagers, they take great pleasure in picking on good ol’ Mom.  And my youngest isn’t too far behind.  My daughter keeps threatening to record me while I’m driving.  Something I’m sure she’d use to amuse her friends around the cafeteria table.  My oldest son, who is in the autism spectrum, is my most honest child.  He calls things as he sees them.  He could use a filter sometimes…especially when it comes to stupid stuff Mom does.  I’m so glad to be a source of entertainment for my family.

And just in case you think you don’t have any quirks or idiosyncrasies, just round up a few teenagers.  They’ll point them out to you pretty quickly.  I’ll even loan you mine.

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About Micki Gibson

Young Adult fiction writer
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6 Responses to Busted!

  1. You sound fine to me and good grief! No thank you; my family is more than quirky enough,(kindly put!). Yeah, you have to watch what you say,all right. A young lady in the family’s 25 -month-old (2 years,1 month), beautiful little girl was scowling as we left to go home and she was left behind the fence.Her mother pulled her back and I heard her yell,”J,Don’t say that!” The mom ran up to my car and said,”I told her[the child] not to go out the gate and she said”I want to go up the driveway, Dumb-ass!” Her mother was red-faced; she knew that the kid had been listening all too carefully to her.

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    • Micki Gibson says:

      I’m starting to think “dumbass” is the preferred term of the pre-school set. I recall using it on my dad once. Let me repeat. Once. Or at least only once directly to him. There may have been an incidence of mumbling it as a teenager. (Ironically, it was probably used when he’d caught me at something. So if he was such a dumbass, what did that say about me to have been caught?) Anyhow, my pre-school self could not figure out why I was getting in such big trouble when my mom was right by him and laughing.

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  2. That was 5v years ago and we’re still laughing.I tell the story and everyone says,”She knew where to use it…I mean, if there IS a place to use it, she had it”.I can’t tell you how often they all say the same thing. We have NOT encouraged this talk!

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  3. jeff7salter says:

    Love these anecdotes. Funny, though with considerable warmth. Reminds me a bit of the kind of thing Erma Bombeck used to write.

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  4. Iris B says:

    My apologies for the belated reply, Micky, but I had to find a stack of tissues to wipe away the tears from laughing.
    Did the above sound familiar to me? NO WAY !!!! LOL.
    AND that’s the reason, why I kept my post extremely short on MOnday (and the fact that Mothers Day was a 3 day event 😉 ) ….. no way am I revealing those moments of “oops”.

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  5. Yep, been there. LOL! and did you ever find out who Bill Bennett is? I don’t know that one

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